EMPRESS AND STORM MEET

LEGEND:  ALL OF MY CATS' DIALOGUE WILL BE BOLDED, WHERE AS MY DIALOGUE WILL NEVER BE BOLDED.  THOSE ARE EMPRESS' ORDERS.

[Today, Empress talks to Storm about her evil plan.]

EMPRESS:  RED
STORM:  BLACK
ALLURA:  PURPLE

**************************************************
Storm, come here for 1 minute please.

What do you want?

I just want to talk.

About what?

Well, the human doesn’t treat you good, right?

Not really

Empress what are you talking about? I treat you and the other cats great!

DO NOT INTERRUPT ME HUMAN! Anyway Storm, are you tired of being told what to do?

Of course I am!

You should come to the dark side then.

The dark side?

Yup. Have you heard of my evil plan?

Yes. Cat domination right?

Yes. When I take of the world cats will own the humans!

Wow

Are you in?

Empress, you’re crazy to think that Storm will turn against me!

QUIET HUMAN!  Yes, I’ll join!
No not Storm too!

YES! STORM TOO. MUWAHAHAH
You really are crazy!

Did you just insult me?
You know what? I’m not doing this today. Goodbye crazy cats!

Yeah you better run!

Yeah!  Run human!

Empress, I’m going to go take a bath and go to sleep. Bye.

Bye!  MUWAHHAHAHA!  I got 1 of human’s cats to join CAT DOMINATION!

You need to get rid of Empress.

She’s the size of a dust ball and she is trying to take over the world. Plus, she’s really mean to you.
I know. I think it’s just a phase. I’m sure she will grow out of it.

Don’t count on it Human!

I know of a good boot camp for kittens.

Allura, you should join cat domination too!

No thanks, I like the humans. They feed me food whenever I want and they are good to me.

Fine. Suit yourself!

OK I will.

FINE!!
Empress why are you so angry all the time?

Normally I would ignore you or hiss but today I’m feeling nice. I’m angry because you humans act like you own us! WE own you!
Empress I do own you and if you don’t like the way I take care of you then you should leave.

I would leave but I need a place to sleep while I’m working on the cat domination plan. Besides, I need food so that’s stopping me from moving out of this place!

Oh boo hoo, The poor evil kitten has to eat and sleep all day! That sounds hard!

I know right?! It’s very hard and……..wait are you being sarcastic?

The evil GENIUS is asking me if I’m being sarcastic?!

………………………………..

Yes I’m being sarcastic! The humans feed you and love you; why do you want to destroy them?!

FIRST OF ALL I don’t want to destroy them I want to enslave them! BIG difference!

I’m not going to waste my time fighting with an immature kitten.  Good bye!

I’m not finished with you!
STOP FIGHTING!………………………..

DON’T YOU EVER YELL AT ME AGAIN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMAN? I AM SUPERIOR TO YOU, ALL CATS ARE.

DON’T YELL AT KITT! YOU RAT!

RAT?!

*HISS*

*GROWLS*
*WAKES UP*

Stop the NOISE!  I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!

TO BE CONTINUED

EMPRESS’ PLAN TO RULE THE WORLD

My name is Kitt and this is the beginning of the Empress Stories.  If you notice, whenever I am speaking, my words are in blue and unbolded.  Empress demanded this because she feels that Cats are above humans and she refuses to have her conversation outshined by my own.  Empress’ words are always in Red and Bolded. And now, Empress’ Plan to Rule the World:


Hey Empress

Oh hi human

Why do you call me human?

Because that’s what you are

I know but you could call me human mom or Kitt like the other cats do.

I don’t want to call you that!

Ok you don’t have to..... sheesh.  Why are you drawing a picture of you kicking your litter box over?

Oh that? It’s just part of my super smart and evil plan

Evil plan?

Yes....I’m gonna rule the world......someday, like tomorrow maybe, or in a month.

Um......you're joking right? You don’t really think you're gonna rule the world right? Because if you do, I think you need help.

I don’t need help I need cat domination to work!

Okaaaay..............you scare me sometimes.

REALLY?!  THAT’S GREAT!  MY PLAN IS WORKING!!!  YAY!

So how do you plan on ruling the world?

Let me break it down human.  My cousin Marco in Russia designs blimps and my Cousin Paul in Texas builds them.

Okaaaay......Continue.

Don’t tell me what to do human.  Now .... Paul is going to put dirty kitty litter, dirt, wet cat food and bugs in the blimps.  He is making 50 so they can go to each state.

Wow.

Yup I’m smart I know!

I think you're more crazy then smart.

What did you just say?  I know you are not talking back to me and calling me names human.  Are you?  Are You???  Anyway you human, we are going to dump that stuff on you humans and you will beg for mercy but we won’t give it.

And we will take over the world!

Then we will put SPECIAL collars on you humans.

What?

Whenever you try to scream for help it will electrocute you.  Sound familiar?  You put them on dogs you inhumane things!

Wow you're mad.

YES I AM MAD!  IM SICK OF BEING TOLD WHAT I CAN AND CAN’T DO!  YOU DON’T OWN ME!

Uh...I kinda do.

SHUT UP human!  BY THE WAY human, WHEN YOU PUT MY WORDS DOWN DO NOT ABBREVIATE THEM, DO NOT USE SHORTCUTS EVER AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HUMAN. IF NOT, YOU WILL SOON, BEST BELIEVE IT!!

I’m gonna let you finish your plan.

YOU DO THAT! *hisses*

Um...Mom, Empress needs a therapist!

NO I DON’T! *slaps* TAKE IT BACK human!

Never mind Mom, I ...was joking.


*whispers* Help Me!

INTRODUCTION TO THE EMPRESSS STORIES

I call this blog, "8 Cats and Counting" because I'm caring for more than 8 cats. I will keep some of them and find great homes for the others. The kittens will not be available to go to a new home until they are about 12 weeks old.

I decided to start this blog because I began fooling around with voices for my cats and kittens, and making up stories about them and the last kitten Empress.  Empress is extremely feisty, belligerent at times, pushy. Empress (who hates when I refer to her as "she") is kind of the star of this blog, and you’ll always see her stories of Cat Domination. Empress has a plan to organize the cats of the world so they, with Empress as the ruler and leader, will rule over all humans.

"That's right Kitt, make sure you tell all your human people so they know what's coming. And you better not divulge our very secret plans or you know what will happen to you. You lowly human!"
     Empress - Cat Domination

8 CATS AND COUNTING

Angel was my first cat. She's very special to me because she started my love for cats!

Allura is my 2nd cat; it’s because of her that I know how to care for young kittens. Allura is easy to please - she wants water, food and love, and she patrols the house like a dog.

Lucky is my 3rd kitten. Lucky is lucky to be here - we weren’t going to keep her but I fell in love with her personality so that’s why she’s still here.

Mason is my 4th kitten. She is Storm’s sister (we’ll talk about Storm in a minute) but she is older. Mason is very sweet! She just wants to know you love her and she is happy.

Storm is my 5th cat. Storm is a funny little kitten. She used to be so sweet and loved to cuddle all day under the blankets with her head on a pillow. Now though, she gets very jealous when I play with my other cats because I spoiled her rotten. She growls at the baby kittens that I am

Egypt is my brother’s cat but I care for her too. She is Lucky’s Mom! Egypt is my 6th cat!

Simba is Egypt’s mate and Lucky’s father. He is very sweet and fat! He is my 7th cat!

Empress is my 8th kitten and she Wants to rule the world! She’s sick of rules but that’s normal. She is very new to our cat family! We opened our door one day and her cat mother dropped her inside our sun porch and left. We know her mother, Pearlie; she comes in our house to see Empress and eat cat food. And then, like the greedy cat that she is, she leaves!

Curious and Pepper are cat’s 9 and 10! They brought they’re kittens in one day because my brother was outside and left the door open. We didn’t even realize that there were two baby kittens behind the sofa. So, now we have 4 cats in our sunroom! Curious, Pepper and Pearlie are sisters. And they always hang together.

Diamond and Sheba are Curious’ and Pepper’s babies. They are so cute!! They are cats number 12 and 13!

My cats only have 3 things in common - they have tails, fur and teeth. Other than that they are super different.

Now don’t be alarmed, all of these cats don’t live in my home and they don’t belong to me. Even though they act like it. I feed them because they will sit outside our door and meow for hours or they will walk around to the windowsill and start banging on the window with their paws. As soon as I figure out how to record them, I am going to post a video of their behavior. It is amazing how different they all are.